Monday, 27 July 2015

Love's Labor Lost?


“I am yours.
Don't give myself back to me.” Rumi
We all have our Love stories, some end in a fairy tale happily ever-after and some end in both going separate ways with love still in their hearts, but part due to circumstances. This is one love story of a girl and a boy from different regions of India (Delhi and Orissa), different religions (Muslim and Hindu Atheist), different ages, different professions (academics and advertising/writing) and different temperaments!
They fell in love and nothing mattered! Both lived in Delhi. He had done his Master's and was working now in Delhi. She was born and brought up in Delhi, and was pursuing higher studies. They had met through a friend who got injured when fire broke out at her place. She had jumped with her laptop from her second floor flat. They both had gone there to take care of her. They liked each other and it became a domestic scene with both of them cooking, cleaning, buying vegetables together for the house 'to take care of her'. The walks in the nearby park after cooking dinner, cleaning dishes and tucking her in became long. Later these walks shifted to Old Delhi, as his office was within walking distance of her home. She was from a conservative Muslim family of Old Delhi. Her father had recently passed away, and her mother and brother were the other members in her family. He came from a conservative Hindu family, youngest son with two married sisters. The families loved their son and daughter immensely, when the news traveled to them the reactions were nothing less than catastrophic. Her family feared the entire mohalla would gossip, his family thought the son would lose his religion or may get killed by 'violent Muslims', and the social boycott. Her mother gave her threats, brother said he would financially remove her from family property. His father said he will leave the house and will not eat food cooked from a Muslim's hand.
As tensions increased from the families side, they decided on a date when he would get his salary and would have saved enough to rent a place. She had some of her PhD scholarship money. Her family wanted a nikah for which he would have to change his name. Her family wanted him to become a 'good Muslim' to marry their daughter. She promised them she would try the Sufi way. He started staying with a friend to save some money. They started searching different localities. He left advertising and started working in digital media. Every weekend in hot sun on his bike they would start in search to find "home". They had to save money so would eat only at his friend's place. Friend and his family would tease both with songs like "..do deewane shehar me raat me aur dopahar me ashiyana dhoondte hain..", both were scared as after weeks they were not able to either finalize a locality or any place. Some rents were too high or at some places the houses were not good. Her family was putting pressure on her being away with him for such long hours before marriage, he should also know  some basics of Islam if he was marrying a Muslim girl.
The date for the wedding was getting near, they were getting restless. Families were skeptical about both of them being financially secure or would they be able to pull it off with long list of differences between them.They finalized a house but on hearing about their religious identities landlord backed out and refused. It was just a week left to go for marriage and they had not found any place! They were scared and tense with ever increasing pressure of the families' trying to break them apart. Finally, her prayers were answered (he never prayed!) and they fond a beautiful home. A barsaati with a bedroom, big drawing room, big windows in all the rooms, airy, open terrace and beautiful. Three days before the marriage both were busy scrubbing the floor, washing the walls and making it their 'home'. They hardly had any stuff to start with, but bought fridge as their first appliance. Her family gave some basic stuff like a gas stove, oven, utensils, bedsheets, etc. to start with, not happily but for her to manage with. She was sure of his capability and her love that they would acquire all the amenities with time. 
Her mother even though was angry, got ubtan for her so her daughter can look beautiful as a bride in her gharara, his sherwani was stiched by an expert tailor from Aligarh. It was a small ceremony, with just a few close friends and the barat from the inner streets left in cycle rickshaws. There were two cars, one of his friend and one of his boss. It was a sultry July evening. Everybody was sweating but everybody, whosoever got the invitation came to bless and wish the newly weds well. Friends welcomed them and decorated the bed sheet (no bed but a huge cotton mattress) with flowers. House had a bad ant problem and red ants were all over the sheet, they had to remove everything from bedroom. 
 By the time everybody left they were exhausted, just made space in the drawing room, opened the few gifts from few guests, and slept peacefully in each other's embrace. She was happy she would not have to answer anybody's queries about him anymore, he was just content to have her beside him. They had got the social sanction to live together now. The next day, house had to be cleaned post-dawat, chairs returned, nobody visited the newly weds, and the first trip they made was to the neighborhood baniya to buy household stuff. Her family had invited them for dinner next day of the wedding. Nobody had come from his family, they were informed on phone. Another marriage was scheduled to be held in Bhubaneswar. There was no TV/ internet just an old radio and some books. They talked for days and nights and still had more things to talk about.  For now, they were happy just to be together, and families seemed to have reconciled.  Her family made a total vegetarian menu on Bakra Eid/Eid ul Azha to suit the taste of their new son in law.He joined office after three days, as they needed money and could not afford more holidays, had long working hours. She did housework, laundry herself. His father , most vocal opponent of the marriage but soft hearted adorable man, thought it was inhuman for the daughter-in-law to wash clothes by hand and asked his son to buy a washing machine on Diwali. It was the second big expenditure that they made on an appliance. 
Often in the evenings they walked on terrace, on weekends went on bike rides or just walked miles. They got pirated dvds and watched movies on the  laptop with small speakers, each speaker on both their ears, as sound was very low and quality bad. They got internet connection next, so he could download movies himself! There was an old cooler that they had, and power cuts were a problem then. Sometimes they slept in the balcony with wet dupattas, and sometimes on the open terrace. 
 The second floor neighbours were a South Indian couple with no kids. The woman was a gentle, kind woman and an amazing cook, who would often get them piping hot idlis, dosas, appams in the morning for break fast. She would get medicine and cook her own versions of soup if she ever fell sick. 
On the first floor lived a lonely Aunty who was greedy for people's company and used to become generous and large hearted whenever anybody visited her.  
The top floor house was hot in summers, cold in winters and leaked in rains! But, they hosted friends, did open air parties and loved their little piece of heaven!
It was almost after a year of marriage that they saved enough to go for a trip together to Mcleodganj. She had a problem with altitude and vomited the entire way, he was by her side always comforting her, giving her water/ lemon/ chewing gum. They found a budget hotel and rested there. It was his birthday next day at Mcleodganj and she gifted him a wrist watch.   
To be continued......  

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Bheegi Palken


Udaas palko pe nami si rehti hai
Har she'h me teri kami si rehti hai

dil ne kuch aisi chot khayi hai 
har ek shakhs se ab dushmani si rehti hai

teri daleelo' ko sun to lete hain
khamosh dil ko magar be'kali si rehti hai

suna hai usko mil gayi khushiyan
hamare labon par aah e bebasi si rehti hai  

Ishq me dhoka iss tarah se khaya hai 
hum sochte the mohabbat sada qeemti si rehti hai

tere saath ki bewafaiyon ke baad
har aas se na-ummeedi si rehti hai

mohabbat ki deemak lag gayi hai zaat ko 
jaane kaise jism ki imarat khadi si rehti hai

rahbar ne raste hi gum kar diye
har ek gaam pe be-nishani si rehti hai

phir wahin laut kar aaye hain jahan tumko khoya tha
munderon pe ab bhi dhoop khili si rehti hai

hum to dil haar chuke lut bhi chuke
arzuon ki bazar e ishq me boli lagi si rehti hai

aane ka waada karke maa'zirat to kar li tumne
nazaro ki darwaze par bas tiktiki bandhi si rehti hai  

tumhari meherbaniyan tumhare sitam tumhare karam  
dil ko har lamha ab dhadka sa pareshani si rehti hai   

Friday, 10 July 2015

Namm

NUMM (Mumkin hai chashm-e-numm)

                                                                                                                                       Lyrics by Ahson Talish 
Mumkin hai chashm-e-numm teri, tera ghuroor ho,
Mumkin hai ke yeh aag, paani se dur ho,
Mumkin hai sarayat kare zehar ragon mein,
Mumkin hai is zehar ka asar dur dur ho,
Mumkin hai mumkin na ho yun mera palatna,
Mumkin hai esterab mein bhi kuch suroor ho,
Mumkin hai aa bhi jao tum mere khayal mein
Mumkin hai dur dur raho, dur dur ho,
Mumkin hai nazar bhar ke tumhe dekh lein,
Mumkin hai ek nazar mein kabhi ishq dur ho,
Mumkin hai mera veham ho, mera khayal ho,
Mumkin hai mere haal mein bhi tera kasoor ho
Mumkin hai tujhe chah ke bhi, chah na sakoon,
Mumkin hai tere paas bhi aa na sakoon,
Mumkin hai yeh fareb ho, teri adavat,
Mumkin hai tujhe keh ke bhi mile na sukoon,
Mumkin hai mujhe pe reham ho ya mujhse saval ho,
Mumkin tai mère saval par woh lajavab ho....

It is possible that your moist eyes, is your arrogance,
It is possible that this fire, can be extinguished by water,
It is possible that  poison spreads into the veins,
It is possible that this poison's effect is far, far (widespread),
It is possible that it may not be possible for me to turn back like this,
It is possible that in (this) uneasiness too there is a bit of intoxication,
It is possible that you come in my thoughts,
It is possible that you stay far far (away), you are far far (away),
It is possible that I (may) get my eyeful (/my fill) of looking at you,
It is possible that with one look, sometimes, love goes away,
It is possible that it is my delusion, or (just) my thought,
It is possible that my state also has your fault in it,
It is possible that despite of loving you, I cannot (may not?) love you,
It is possible that I cannot come close to you,
It is possible that it is a deception, your bitterness
It is possible that even after telling you, (I)  don't get peace,
It is possible that I am shown mercy or that I am questioned,

It is possible that at my question, he is (left) with no answer


Translation by Meenakshi Garodia at 
http://ruminatingrhetoric.blogspot.in/2014/01/numm-mumkin-hai-chashm-e-numm.html
Video at- 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwf5nUROZGU&list=RDKwf5nUROZGU#t=0

Thursday, 11 June 2015

Aatmhatya (suicide/ in hindi- killing one's soul)


Woh saal hi aisa tha
sab predictions yehi kehte the 
sookha parega aisa ke ankh 
taras jayegi ansoo ki ek boond ko bhi!
har cheez par ayegi aisi museebat ke
har koi mangega panah!
qudrat jisko hamesha abuse kiya
us ma ki tarah
jisko hamesha gaali di
par jab usne apni rehmat chheni 
tab samajhe
qayamat kisko kehte hain!

aise waqt me rishte kaise phalte?
na barish ki woh mehak
na nami
bas har taraf
thaka dene wali 
ankhen chaundhyane wali dhoop
aisi dhoop to khadi pakki faslon ko bhi sookha deti hai
phir mera rishta to tha bhi aisa nazuk
kya jaana tha ke barish ki boond ke intezar me 
yeh sookh jayega
aur phir khabar wohi ayegi hamare baare me akhbaar me
ke ek kisan ne phir ki aatmhatya!

najaane yeh log isko aatmhatya kyun kehte hain 
hatya to jism ki
karte hain na
aatma to amar hai
na jalti hai
na rukti hai 
na thehri hai 
na dabi hai kahin
noor ki boondo me se ek boond
jo sada behti rehti hai
phir na koi sooraj usko jala paya 
na qudrat khatam kar paayi usko
aur na hi maut!


Saturday, 2 May 2015

dard- 2

Iss dard ka koi naam nahi
iss dard ki koi zaat nahi
iss ka dharam imaan nahi
yeh jab rago me behta hai
dil khoon ke aansoo rota hai
na koi paata hai na khota hai
iss me to koi jeet haar nahi
iss dard ka koi naam nahi

jism ke ek ek reshe se
yeh jaan salab kar leta hai
honto ko chup lagti hai
ankhon me paani deta hai
iss dard ka koi naam nahi

yeh ajab sa ek rishta qayam kar deta hai
 dard dene lene wala
dono ko sooli deta hai
adhi adhoori saanson pe rakhta hai
na jeene deta hai na marne deta hai
iss dard ka koi naam nahi
iss ki to koi zaat nahi
iss ka dharam imaan nahi!!

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Visit to the National Museum


In this semester, I am teaching a course to First Yr.Under-grad students which deals with Ancient/Medieval/ Modern History and Thinkers around that time. I had recently visited National Museum with my cousin from UK (by the way, All Britishers take their Museums and their history very seriously!).  I had heard Neil Mcgregor, Director of British Museum, in a conference on Museums, we had hosted at JNU . The way he narrated the stories around historical artifacts and their politics, was very fascinating! For example- post-Independence there was a fight  over the artifacts as well (among other things) between India and Pakistan. So, to avoid any further conflicts between the two new nations, Britishers kept the precious things in their safe custody! Similarly, Israelians- Palestanians have had issues and Dalai Lama and China have also had arguments over Buddhist artifacts from that region. Thus, British Museum has a great collection of objects from all its colonies, which they have not and Cannot return back, due to present day political climate!

In the same conference, my ex-colleague, Kavita Singh, had talked about how in India museums are treated as 'sacred' spaces, where at some places people are expected to remove shoes, and mostly there is a code of conduct for behavior.

 National Museum , actually a project of the British was later on taken over by Indians under the patriotic nation-building exercise, is a fascinating place!
(You can read more here- http://www.nationalmuseumindia.gov.in/ )

And, if you have a good guide who can explain the different eras, its different objects, their intricacies, etc. the time travel between different periods,it is absolutely brilliant. I loved our guide, Chitra, a passionate, knowledgeable art historian who finished the 90 minute tour in almost two hours, painstakingly explaining everything to the group. So I thought it would be a good idea to take my students there! 

I requested for Chitra again but was turned down by National Museum authorities as they said all guides are well trained and they would not like to encourage favoritism. There was no reason not to trust them! 

We reached for the afternoon walk (which starts at 2.30pm). The tickets were subsidized for students at Rs. 1/- We were all very happy, until we moved to the first era. My group of 18 young restless students, engaged by this young 20 something guy, who was leading them now. I kept myself at the back consciously and occasionally rested at the numerous benches and chairs. It was a tough task to control my unruly crowd. Suddenly, I felt like a sheep-herder trying to control my flock of sheep from moving here and there, touching stuff or taking photos. (You can take photos by paying an extra amount, which we had not paid). Starting with Harappa/ Mohenjodaro, we moved to Gupta/Maurya Age.
 Then I saw some students giggling uncontrollably. The guide sahab was giving the gyaan on Buddha's statues. He was trying to explain the long ears as a sign of divinity (true), and the head showed post-Enlightenment head, an over-flowing brain (SHOCKING!).
  Another student corrected him, when he called Ram's brother Shiva, instead of Lakshman in a painting depicting a scene from Ramayana!

 Students felt there was too much emphasis on Buddha, with a separate hall dedicated to Buddhist Art, which also houses Buddha's relics in a gold and diamond encrusted base (often, you can see Buddhist monks praying/chanting in this section)! Later, I found out that National Museum also gets grant from some South-East Asian countries for their Buddhist treasure!
Personally, I loved the Sun god statue from Konark temple. A unique statue which wears a beautiful smile, along with boots, very unusual.

Girls got all excited when we visited the Jewelry hall. Guide just sat in a corner, and allowed everybody to feast their eyes on marvelous pieces of jewels from different eras.  (Chitra had taken us to every showcase herself, and explained different pieces and their eras, but then she was a woman!)

A couple of students befriended him and found out, that guide sahab was a MBA preparing for CAT, and this he did as a part-time job!

Post-arms and ammunition section (again very beautiful hall with daggers, swords, soldier's uniforms, pistols, rifles, etc.), we finally bid adieu to the guide sahab, and the museum. We left the premises after getting ourselves and our bags screened, checked and frisked (they check in case somebody may decide to carry a souvenir from the museum).




Tuesday, 14 April 2015

The Minimalist State- Socialism Whither?

When there was recent controversy on 26th Jan 2015, regarding the Modi government's removal of the terms- Socialist and Secular in media ads by I&B Ministry, everybody was up in arms. The government's commitment to secularism is for all to see, but socialism has become obsolete in the present era, thanks to both NDA and UPA governments. 
 The State as we knew it, was mostly seen as "mai-baap", the protector/ the nurturer/ the provider. As we move in the present era, we see State almost becoming just an arbitrator, a by-stander, neutral umpire kind of authority. As the State starts withdrawing from different arenas, the private interests move in to fill the gap. Citizens are supposed to pay for services they earlier took for granted, or were highly subsidized for them. The education sector is now filled with private universities, where you pay for your degree. The fees is so much on the guarantee that they will not make you repeat another year however badly you may do, assurance is you will pass. After all, you do not pay so much to fail in private universities!
 Another area that of concern is the security. The police is under-staffed, inadequately paid and have been waiting for reforms forever now. The acute shortage of security has led to a rise of private security firms. Recently, I argued with a private security guard who almost hit my rickshaw walah with his lathi at Lajpat Nagar market. I told him he has no authority, he is no police, then rickshaw wala defended him by saying the market association has employed his firm for security and regulating traffic around the market. Thought that was the work of police, but recent burglaries have made the Market associations/RWAs/ Banks to get their own private armies of security guards. As much as it has led to employment for thousands (very basic requirements), their legitimacy has always been a grey area.
 Indian farmers until the 1990s were the State's favourite' children. The recent issues around the Land Acquisition Bill have come as a rude shock for them as they suddenly find the State abandoning their interests' and taking side of the corporates'. Corporates' pay more taxes and also fund the political parties, so no surprises there.
In more and more cases of indigenous communities/ tribals vs. mining companies, State is now taking side of the companies.  
 The rise of NGOs in the social sector, taking interests of women, aged, children, minority groups, tribals, etc. forward is again State giving up its welfarist agenda and outsourcing it to the other organizations and giving them some funding for it, or doing it together as Public Private partnerships. 
If you want to use better infrastructure pay toll at Highways. In a Capitalist economy, government moves out and regulates the field for different players who work on profit through competition (telephone services/ Airlines, etc.). There are no more permanent government jobs coming, people work on contracts in the hope that secure government jobs would come, but not much has happened there.   
The newest thing that we are supposed to pay for now is the internet! Free air that we breathe even that is posionous now, so no free things anymore!
We did blame the state for everything, but it was more like you would blame your parents for things that go wrong, there was some affection because you knew your interests' are important for them, but that romanticism is lost now. State as our parents' generation knew it, is dead now! This new State cares for the money and will support anybody who can pay, regardless of caste/creed/nationality- tourists/MNCs/ NRIs!! 

Yuchi chalte chalte

  यूँही चलते चलते  गुमान हुआ  कोई चेहरा ऐसा  नुमाँ हुआ   मुड़ मुड़ कर उसको   राह में देखा किये  देख कर फिर  सोचा किये   ये तो वही है   लगा के ...