Ishq latka Rahega Pankhe Se*

'Old Delhi is chaos and Greater Noida is silence', two worlds I navigate and experience as an inhabitant of both. 

The world of Shahajahanabad is where I was born at a Nursing Home at Nai Sarak, the most central, chaotic middle part of Old Delhi, after nearly thirty years of life at Shahjahanabad, I shifted to Greater Noida almost a decade back.  

Greater Noida (or GreNo) provided me a home as a refuge, solace and support when I needed it the most in my life. Its long winding, quiet, green, tall trees shaded roads often my companion of long walks, heard all my complaints, rants, songs and helped me heal with their silent presence. I often feel that just like Delhi is the City of Djinns, GreNo may also have some of the relatives, extended families of those Delhi Djinns who came for a holiday and decided to stay back here (for solitude and greenery like me!). 

Both cities are very different yet very similar in many ways, especially in their celebrations. The celebrations here are never limited to individual homes but often spill on the streets and are loud, noisy, community shared and shape local identities. 

So, at Old Delhi (Bazar Sitaram), having grown up seeing many Dussehras at Ramlila Maidan (Delhi) it has become a matter of habit to attend Ravan Dahans wherever I maybe. The shared community festivals regardless of faith, become an experience for the residents' of the particular localities and the dominant festivities take over the sensibilities of the residents. Visiting Durga Puja Pandals or Ramlila in the calendar month of October was a regular feature whichever city I resided in. 

Some people believe that Ravan was born at Greater Noida as per local legend at Bisrakh village. Shiva built a palace of gold for Parvati on an island, called Lanka. As Parvati wished to enter her home, an ardent search for a suitable priest began, which ended on Ravana. He performed the yagna but demanded Lanka as dakshina in return.* Dussehra is not celebrated in Bisrakh Village, the only place in UP where Ramlila is not organised. 

This year during the Dussehra/ VijayDashmi festival, I experienced something strangely unsettling at GreNo and hence, is the reason for me writing this blog-post after such a long time, as a form of catharsis. 

It raised a question that has been haunting me: When hate arrives at your doorstep, do you stay silent or speak up? 

At Ravan Dahan this year, my housing society erected the effigies of Ravan and his brothers outside the Market Complex in the large Parking area. As crowds started coming in for the Ravan Dahan, someone started playing hate-filled Hindutva Pop at the Music system for the public. 

Hindutva Pop* is political, not devotional or spiritual music to be played at festivals and is often the cause for increasing conflict among communities. I was dismayed, pained, anguished at the choice of such music at MY residential society.  Something I had never heard in a decade of stay here.  Hindutva Pop is a genre of hate-filled violent lyrics mostly directed at Muslims'.  

At Christ College (deemed to be University in early 2025), we had invited journalist Kunal Purohit who has a book on H-pop for a talk. The discussion became very political (of course!) leaving Left-Right ideological divisions exposed of/for the audience.  

I registered my disappointment (not shock!) at the kind of music that played just before the Dahan at all the Housing society WhatsApp groups and on Mygate app via a message post.  My friends/family were concerned and advised that I should refrain from visiting festival spaces or saying anything about this. 

In another context, someone had shared a post that has stayed with me:

“If you see something wrong happening around you and ignore it, a small matter may soon grow into something much bigger. That is why it is important to call out the wrong when it happens, otherwise the wrong gets normalised as right and starts dancing on our heads.”
(loose translation from a WhatsApp message)

As we see the rise of right-wing majoritarian politics and performative religious festivals around the world, we also need to reclaim shared, safe spaces. Spaces, where local communities can celebrate, exchange dialogue and build solidarities across faiths.

Because silence too is a choice, and often it is the most dangerous one!

 Our Ravan here resembled Dali as per a friend.   

Title from Zia Mazkoor's she'r:  Humko neeche utaar lenge log ......Ishq Latka rahega Pankhe se 

References:  

www.indiatoday.in/india/story/ravana-greater-noida-demon-king-delhi-ncr-bishrakh-dussehra-345906-2016-10-10    

https://time.com/6242156/hindutva-pop-music-anti-muslim-violence-india/

Kunal Purohit’s H-Pop: The Secretive World of Hindutva Pop Stars  

Jashn E Rekhta 2017 Brought Poetry to Social Issues Currently Faced by India

 https://www.news18.com/news/lifestyle/jashn-e-rekhta-2017-brought-poetry-to-social-issues-currently-faced-by-india-1599947.html

 Published on: 10th Dec. 2017

 

“Sar chadh kar bolta hai Urdu zuban ka jadoo….”

These words of Jashn e Rekhta’s theme song perfectly sum up the spirit at the festival. As you enter the gates at National Stadium and one of the 16 e-rickshaws drop you at the main venue inside, the friendly faces and presence of old and young, men and women from all backgrounds strike you.

The 4th edition of Jashn e Rekhta kicked off at Major Dhyan Chand National Stadium, India Gate, on a cold 8th December evening warmed by Sanjeev Saraf’s (founder of Rekhta) welcome address, Pandit Jasraj and Waheeda Rehman’s speeches inaugurating the festival and musical performance by Ustad Rashid Khan. When lights went out for few minutes during his performance, Ustad Rashid sahib did not stop singing, and the audience did not panic or became restless, but switched on the lights on their phones. It was quite symbolic of the love that the festival has received from people of Delhi. The festival started at IIC in 2015 then IGNCA hosted Rekhta festival twice and this year’s choice of National stadium shows the manifold increase of the audience in thousands over the years. Participants and public from outside Delhi visiting the festival have also gone up. For the first day, many felt the crowd was very good this year.

The festival of ‘Urdu’ or ‘Rekhta’ as the language was referred earlier, stresses on the composite culture through which the language emerged with both Hindus and Muslims as its speakers. Rekhta sessions are a balanced mix of music, poetry, serious literary discussions to sessions hosted by Bollywood film personalities. Films and their Urdu connection is explored in detail in every Jashn e Rekhta.

The food section curated by Anubhav Sapra (Delhi Food Walks) offers diverse food choices from Bihar, Rampur, Odisha, Lucknow, Shahjahanabad and Afghanistan (women refugee’ group now in food catering) as well, apart from Delhi snack options like Cheela from Karol Bagh, Omlette from Dwarka, Daulat ki chaat and sweets from Sheeren Bhawan, Old Delhi,. Rampuri kebabs and Afghani food were specially recommended for the food lovers at Jashn e Rekhta.

Apart from the main sessions and events the space at National stadium is aesthetically decorated and dotted with various cut outs of famous Urdu poets and their celebrated couplets. Rekhta bazaar has stalls of Khwab Tanha, Arty Kite, SHURUA(R)T, ear rings, Khadi products, calligraphic posters and a working calligraphy artist, book publications, etc. First day evening is usually spent in walking around and discovering the space.

On Saturday, 9th Dec. second day of the festival morning sessions started with Sadaa e Faqeer, melodious soulful Sufi Tasawwuf renditions by Madan Gopal Singh and Chaar Yaar. The range of Urdu language beautifully captured with various performances in different musical formats. The afternoon session saw Shubha Mudgal singing poetry of protest and dissent of Faiz, Kaifi Azmi and others, narrated by Sohail Hashmi.

The Courtesan Project was enacted early evening by Manjari Chaturvedi and Neelesh Misra who brought Mirza Ghalib and Nawabjan’s story on stage interspersed with poetry, music and Kathak dance. Around the same time, Parvaaz, a band from Bangalore, in the open area created a fusion of rock and Urdu for the young audience.

Serious discussions on Urdu literature started with Dakani Urdu and its poetic forms. Prof Gopi Chand Narang talked about mythology’s presence in Urdu poetry in the afternoon session. Medieval India, much in discussion in recent times, its cultural and literary interactions were explored by Prof Harbans Mukhia with Prof Rizwan Qaiser. Urdu ‘afsana’ form was discussed in the late afternoon session. Gulzar Dehalvi , noted Urdu poet and scholar had a session with Farhat Ehsas.

Film personalities from Mumbai had different sessions throughout the day. Imtiaz Ali started with the morning session and spoke about his films and his idea of imagination and reality. Nandita Das and Nawazuddin Siddiqui talked about their film Manto and shared the process of its making. Shabana Azmi, Muzaffar Ali and Waheeda Rehman discussed the Muslim social films and the depiction of Urdu culture in them. All of these sessions saw very large audience as the stars of Bollywood always pull in public.

Radio stars sessions were very well attended as well. RJ Sayema had a session where she read out poetry, and RJ Neelesh Misra had a session with Saif Mahmood where he discussed the role of stories in sensitizing ‘the other’. Misra discussed trying to reach the interiors of India through his Gaon Connection project and his journey as a lyricist in Bollywood. Salman Akhtar’s couplet shared in the session, referred to Ramayan’s characters while talking about the struggles one faces in life, was most appreciated:

Itna kab azaad hai jo chahe kar le jab kaho

Dil ke Dashrath ko mili hain Kaykayi majbooriyan

Poetry-sessions started with Open house in the morning session, then mazahiya (humorous/ witty) poetry, Young poets session in the afternoon, Women poets session in the late afternoon. Dr. Saif Mahmood had a session on satire and humor in Urdu and enthralled his audience with various gems of witty poetry. When there was shortage of meat in Delhi a few years back, Sagar Khayyami wrote:

Ek mahina ho chukka hai bandd hai hum par mutton

Daawaton me kha rahe hain bhindiyan ahl e sukhan

Kha ke ghuiyyan kya dikhlaayein shayari ka baankpan

Ho gaya palak ka patta nazuki se gulbadan

Nafraton ke daur me dekho to kya kya ho gaya

Sabziyan Hindu huin, Bakra Musalman ho gaya

In the present times, when food is being linked to religion, it was appropriately cherished and liked by the audience.

The day ended with well known Urdu poets’ Mushaira, like Shamim Abbas, Shariq Kaifi, Rahat Indori, Javed Akhtar and others.

The underlying theme at Jashn e Rekhta has always been to emphasize on the ‘Indiannes’ of Urdu, its inclusivity and the various forms in which they have been richly explored.

Its efforts like this by Sanjeev Saraf and his Rekhta team that the vicious communal politics of the present era can be dealt with and defeated.

Shamim Abbas’s couplet in the Mushaira met with loud cheers:

Muntazir hum bhi hain us din ke ho Ram ka Raj

Par yeh Ravan ki Jo Lanka hai ye dhaayi jaaye.

 

Stories, Game of Thrones and Benedict Anderson (Imagined Communities')

 Game of Thrones' lovers irritated me, found them too devoted, too involved in the epic saga. And, I finished watching it yesterday (binge-watched actually!). The other story I can think of which actually was nearly as brilliant as this was probably J R R Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, but, maybe this overtakes it by miles. Anyways, comparisons of classics are futile.

I am in a daze really, the series based on George R.R. Martin's book (A Song of Fire and Ice), the writing/script is extremely brilliant with very strong female characters. If one can ignore all the violence (and the skin show!) the story takes over with its twists and turns. You invest in a character and that person gets killed soon afterwards. The politics is highly intriguing. 

Tyrion Lannister's character in the final episode gives a speech (where he advocates for a new king's name) and talks about what keeps people together. 

“What unites people?” Tyrion asked. “Armies? Gold? Flags?” No. It’s stories, he said.

“There's nothing in the world more powerful than a good story. Nothing can stop it. No enemy can defeat it..."

 Thsi reminded me of Benedict Anderson, who in his classic 1983 book Imagined Communities: Reflections on the Origin and Spread of Nationalism talks about the condition that led to the development of nationalism in the 18th and 19th centuries, especially in the Americas, and famously defined the nation as an “imagined community.” 

Despite differences, people imagine themselves as belonging to the same collectivity, sharing a common history, traits, beliefs, and attitudes. Anderson further defined this imagined community as limited, because even the largest nations recognize some boundaries and the existence of other nations beyond them; and sovereign, because the nation replaced traditional kinship ties as the foundation of the state.  A nation as an 'imagined construct' for which countless people have willingly sacrificed themselves and continue to do so. Nationalism got help from capitalism and print media as it came to define this era in the post-industrialisation period, along with urbanisation and modern education. 

Anderson was criticised by post-colonial writers such as Partha Chatterjee, as he overlooked the colonial experience where nationalism as an ideology was super-imposed by the colonial masters. The work of Anderson' is still a landmark study where it questioned and provided answers for the rise of nationalism in the modern period. 

The stories, Martin through Tyrion says, unite people and similarly the vernacular press through print media made imagining a community possible in the 18th century and thereafter. It was print media that played a big role in creating the thought of unity of different groups and families together as a 'community'. It is the communities that form the societies and societies have to create folk legends and myths for their survival. Politics is the about governance, how do you make sure that people do not dissent and remain committed to the state, ready for battles and hardships as and when called upon. 

The kind of politics we are witnessing in India, is also based on stories, often concocted narratives that sway people to vote for the right wing majoritarian party, BJP.  The nationalism, the emotional high-pitch speeches about the humble background of the PM, the Ram-setu controversy, Babri masjid/Ram janambhoomi issue and many such instances where facts may say otherwise but the narrative is build through stories (media propagation) to appeal to people's emotions.

The games around thrones continue being played, nationalism is a tool to keep people together. But, is nationalism really imaginary or the stories are so powerful that we are almost characters living in them? 

Monsoon Trip to Kerala

                              

Trip to Kerala during monsoon was a dream which remained in the planning stage for years but materialized only when my friend from Kerala mentioned that she would be traveling by train with her family during summer holidays, and she offered that with other tickets, she would book my ticket as well. It would be a fun journey through  the  beautiful Western Ghats in the month of monsoon, I was told. 

Well, things do not go as per plan or as being told... Ever!! 

My friend and her family had to change their plan and by then another Tamilian friend decided to join us from Coimbatore, accommodation was booked at different places, along with my return flight to Delhi. 

Hence, instead of canceling my ticket I decided to go ahead with the trip to God's own country by Train. 

The daunting part was the 40 hours plus journey by myself. Longest Train Journey Ever in my life!!

Once, the train crossed Rajasthan/Gujarat, the landscape changed completely. 

Beautiful Konkan railway route is a joy to behold. Sights are amazingly beautiful. Had a few families with lots of kids around me who kept things busy with their antics throughout the long journey.  During monsoon, trains usually run late (ours was late by just four hours!).

                                                                         

Calicut/ Kozhikode 

Train finally reached Kozhikode railway station around 9am. The city is peaceful, not very crowded and friend's brother's house was a  beautiful villa. Post heavy breakfast, we went to the Calicut beach. 

Very few people and even less hawkers. Probably Monday 11am is not exactly the most ideal time to be on the beach. From the beach, we went to explore the local market and in the afternoon post lavish lunch of Malabari Biryani and fried fish we started for Wayanad.                   

                                                              

Wayanad 

Wayanad is two hours drive from Calicut, here we stayed at a cottage at Lakkidi Village resort (away from the main road) the resort is beautiful, it was evening-ish by the time we reached. We explored the resort which had a flowing stream , sports room, swimming pools and just about everything one could wish for on a relaxing holiday. Early morning the cacophony of birds woke us up at 5.30am. 

We ordered a heavy breakfast and went for sight seeing around Wayanad which is now also famous as Rahul Gandhi's constituency. There were many posters of him around the area. 

We went to a dam area which had a natural park and few other adventure sports' options.

          

From there we went for a guided tour of spice garden where we were shown the spices from their infancy-to- tree stage of growth and were explained their benefits by a gentleman who also carried umbrellas for us as it kept drizzling and kept switching during his lecture between Malayalam and English for my convenience.  We came back to the resort, had lunch and then went to see a lake which did not appeal much to our senses' as we had already seen too many amazing water bodies during the journey by then. 

Next was the traditional Ayurvedic Kerala massage followed by a steam bath.

      

By evening, we started back for Calicut as we had a train for Alleppey next morning. 

We reached Calicut in the evening and decided to visit my Friend's siblings. They all had amazingly aesthetic homes also, marvelous sense of hospitality.

The awesome food/meal is usually accompanied with warm water and sometimes boiled with saunf or some other digestive ingredient in it. Old age traditional wisdom still being practiced in most homes and eateries around Kerala.    

Our morning train was late (during Monsoons most trains run late, my lesson from the trip!) so we went to the beach again and then visited friend's sister who served us delicious appams with egg curry for breakfast. Alleppey journey was long as train was delayed, we reached in the afternoon. I lamented the fact that I had only eaten two appams in the morning!!  Our Tamilian friend had already reached Alleppey and was waiting for us. 

Alleppey/Allapuzha                                                                                                                                                

We reached in the afternoon and stayed at a home-stay at Alleppey. We went to Allapuzha beach in an auto which was a little far from the city. On our way back, we did some shopping around Allapuzha.   

For the morning, we had booked a sunrise ride of Shikara. We got up very early morning and the boat ride was worth it.  

One of the best mornings that one could ask for. It was quiet and peaceful. Almost spiritual, as our spirits soaked in the sights of nature and people living around the lake.

          

      

Kids going to school in the boat, construction materials being transported on boats, women catching fish for breakfast/meals for the day and the sun rising up from its slumber through the clouds only to disappear a while later for a drizzle. Rain made it even more amazing as I recited Faiz (with English translation!) to my Malayali and Tamil friends. "Aasman hadd e nazar ...

They returned back the favor with some bhajans in Malayalam and Tamil classical music. Some of the houses around the lake are evacuated during monsoons as the water level rises. The problematic aspect was that the houseboats and other boats running on diesel/petrol pollute the river and also throw their garbage in the water. 

Post this amazing morning at Alleppey, we had a brilliant breakfast of Idiappams and stew.  Morning at Alleppey was truly a blessing.      

We started for Munnar from Alleppey and as it turned out it was almost 6 hour journey as we traveled from plains to the hills. 

Munnar/Chinnakanal  

Munnar is at the border of Kerala and Tamil Nadu with one side of hills bordering Tamil Nadu. Munnar has rolling hills covered with clouds and tea gardens. We reached around evening and the temperature had dipped to around 11 degrees. It was pleasantly cold and we needed blankets for the night. Our friend had booked for us accommodation at a place which was an hour away from Munnar, Chinnakanal (meaning little canal) and we went to have fresh food at a eatery- named Johnson's after its ever smiling, chatty owner/cook (dhaba in North India and Thattu kada in South India) a place which seemed very popular with a view of tea gardens. We had fresh dosas with lemon tea for dinner. 

Next morning was a treat.  We went to Johnson's again for breakfast of dosa, vada, idli and tea/coffee. Our friend's friend (employed at Chinnakanal)  had promised us that he would take us to his favourite places.

   

We drove even higher and reached Suryanelle Tea Garden Estate and Factory. The Estate was set up by the British later bought over by the RPG group. We were given caps, masks, had to wash our shoes before we entered and photos were not allowed inside the factory.

Our guide showed us how the leaves are dried then processed into various types of teas. The aroma was splendid as was the tea that we had there, one of the best that I had ever had!

Their tea is mostly exported but also sold in retail to various tea companies who then brand them. They also provide dust for cola companies (Pepsi/Coke) for color. 

    

The Estate was beautiful covered with clouds and mist. It was literally a walk in the clouds. 

We came back for lunch and had a simple awesome Kerala meal at a restaurant near our stay.

Post lunch we started for a journey which was to a place in the jungles even higher up prone to elephant attacks. We were told how locals have been killed and precautions to take, if elephants are spotted crossing the way. We saw some people on the way who were burning forest for land encroachments.       

The wilderness led to a place which had a stream flowing and small puddles, of fresh water. It was almost like a  private pool as we splashed water on ourselves and then to dry ourselves lied down on the rocks under the sun.

       

  

From there we went further up to a village of Muduvan tribals who were the dominant community at Munnar before the arrival of the British. The village was a neat little settlement under a big rock, followed by a temple and then the neat rows of colourful houses started. The wood for usage is usually collected from the forest and kept at a common hut.

The drive back from the village was pleasant and full of beautiful cloud covered hills and water bodies.

Dinner was a six course meal  hosted by our friend at the Sterling resort. We had shifted to Sterling in the morning. Morning breakfast was a buffet at the resort, as we started for Munnar from Chinnakanal post breakfast in our friend's car. 

At Munnar market, we shopped for some homemade chocolates, tea and spices. I even inquired, if there is possibility of a job at the tea plantations and was informed of an opening at tea Estate owned by the Tatas  (wow!). Our Tamilian friend left for her hometown and me and my friend started for Kochi in the taxi which was around four hour drive from Munnar town.

Kochi 

We stayed at Angamaly near the Kochi airport as I had an early morning flight next day for Delhi.

From Angamaly, Fort Kochi was 40kms. We had booked a taxi for sight seeing. Ernakulam is one of the major commercial districts of Kerala. Like any other big city full of traffic and rush hour jams, similar eatery chains, crowded malls and similar urban architecture of tall buildings.

It started raining and after two hours we reached Fort Kochi where it was raining heavily and sea looked quite rough. Fort Kochi, Chinese Fishing net area and then Marine drive left us disappointed after the sights of Alleppey and Chinnakanal.

We had our dinner at the famous Lulu Mall and the "urban" life was back with a vengeance.

   

The famous hospitality was again at display as our home-stay host dropped me at 4.30am to the airport, at no extra  charge.

It took many days of journey to experience the natural beauty of Kerala and then half a day of urban chaotic life of Kochi before the journey back home.

We traveled from North to South Kerala, met amazing people had awesome food every where.

People and economy still had not recovered from the crisis they had faced due to floods in 2018 but that did not deter them from being hospitable or cheerful.

The socio-political scenario of Kerala is an inspiration for us North Indians. There were no BJP/Modi posters but of Left/Congress parties :)

Kochi eased me into the shock that Delhi would have been post Alleppey or Munnar just like the two day train journey around Konkan had prepared for the shades of green and beautiful sights of water bodies of Kerala. 

I loved Kerala for its natural beauty of course, but also for its cheerful people, delicious food, hospitality, weather and politics!                                                              

My Experiments with 'Desi Nuskhas'

My 'Naaf' went and where and why nobody knew!! 

To tell you from the start, well, I had been unwell since past few days. I had fever, body ache and an unpleasant pain in the stomach (pain is never pleasant, you know!). And, I do not believe in allopathic medicines and only take them when it is absolutely vital as the last option. I think with the usual allopathic/modern medicines you can get better in probably two days and without medicines (or with natural/herbal remedies, no side effects) and rest one can get better in probably three to four days. I had been surviving on simple 'khichdi' the proverbial 'sick food' and a few fruits and resting mostly at my home.  

My dear friend decided to pay me a visit with all her earthy wisdom and 'nuskhas'. She is one of my closest, sweetest, and one of the nicest human species can offer. So, she asked me about my complaints and ailments and checked my tummy. Her diagnosis, my 'naaf' was misplaced. The 'naaf' is the muscle in the tummy which gets affected when you lift something heavy. It is quite common and usually a person recovers in a couple of days. At Old Delhi, we had a neighbourhood uncle who would just rub the webbing between the thumb and the finger and voila! 'Naaf' would be back to its place in no time. Sadly, he was no more now. 

On my own I had tried the ice cold water on tummy therapy which cools down the hot gases and relaxes the tummy. In a steel bowl you put cold water and then place it on the tummy, using a spoon keep moving the water. Quite popular in East India and good for tummy related problems (vomiting, acidity, etc.).   

My dear friend told me she was quite an expert in treating such misplaced muscle things and in the morning next day, she would treat the empty tummy. (Anything which can save me from popping the pills!). To help me sleep at night, she rubbed a towel over me saying it helps with reducing fever, gave me a head-oil massage which relaxed me and made me drowsy and I went off to sleep. I got up a few times with tummy ache in the night but was able to sleep soon after.   

Dear friend got up early, got ready and I trusted her completely, I mean what could go wrong? 

She told me to lie down straight and asked for mustard oil and an old dupatta. Dear friend started with massaging the oil and then what followed was just me shouting all the names of God, "Allah/ hey Bhagwan, oh my Gawwd" interspersed with also remembering my 'Ammi' in pain and agony (I may have also shouted 'sh**' and 'f**k'!). She told me that the knot had reached the top of my rib cage which I could feel too. And she would have to bring it down and it would hurt (and, oh boy, it did hurt!). 

Dear friend clenched, took whatever flab was there to wrestle with my poor tummy till I cried out for her to stop. She was in her "zone", her mission was to cure me and told me the "more it hurts the better", I was shouting so loud, afraid (and hoped!) neighbours would come to intervene (save me and stop this mayhem).
Finally, after a while she had mercy on me and told me that the muscles have come down to an extent and would come to their right place once I eat her aata-halwa. She went to make halwa (for the first time ever in her life which she told me later!). I was supposed to lie still with a dupatta tied very tight around the place where my 'naaf' was. In a while she came back with a plate full of halwa and told me to eat it All, as 'heavy food would send the naaf back to where it belongs'. I had a few spoons, just could not eat, could not even compliment just thanked her for her love. I was eating the halwa sitting in a position with the dupatta tied on my waist tightly and my knees bent and very little support for the back.
I was supposed to take ten steps, lie down back and then take a bath after two hours. 

Doorbell rang and my house-help came, another "very wise lady". 

She greeted my friend and then felt bad that I had not shared with her my condition and rebuked me for eating anything. She showed me a few exercises which she said would put the naaf back on its place. My dear friend told me to lie down again and showed her the knot. Now, the two women discussed and worked on my belly! The house-help forgot all about her exercises and started torturing me with few of her own methods, clenching and twisting my tummy, as she kept saying "bada bura dard hota hai, didi!"(obviously, I KNOW women!). 

Finally, the two 'wise women' decided that next day, on empty tummy another woman expert would bring my naaf back!

By that point after all that jostling and everything, there was a knot between my tummy and rib cage which was hurting constantly and I still did not know where-the-hell-my-naaf-went-and-why!  

To cut the long story short, I survived and am still alive (Hallelujah').

         

(Thankfully, Dear friend does not read my blog and I would never share this post with her ever! I love her and am grateful for All her help and support, in case she accidentally ever reads this!)
Statutory Warning: Do Not Try This At Home. Ever. 

Smart Phone & I

World for me was divided into people who either had those big work phones and carried the entire social media and their office on it and the other big population which only received phone calls and messages on the device. I was happy being in the other category of simple, laid back, non-smart phonewalas, where I would know about the world through TV news, or when I logged in on my laptop and not be constantly bothered about who "liked" what, or who "outraged" on which issue on Twitter!(Sorry, do not go beyond- Twitter, which is personal favorite and rarely go on Facebook!) I had not known the joys of Whatsapp yet!

I had a phone with buttons as I have fat fingers and always believed it would be difficult for me to manage the delicate touch screen of the phone, to keep rubbing my fingers and type on it too!Imagine, phew! Also, history of losing numerous phones and being accident prone generally always stopped me from buying expensive phones!

But, now all that was going to change! I got in gift a smart phone on my birthday! I do not understand why they call a phone Smart, and in comparison to whom? The user? Is it able to do things more efficiently and better than the user! Gosh, I can do without that kind of comparison and judgement! Imagine losing to your own device!

 Then to download various different apps which made me wonder how I survived without them! The delight in asking "bhaiya (well, you never ask behenji!) where is this address" or trying to only get radio and not various music apps (I was happy letting AIR choose songs for me, and not making my own playlist) or trying to decide on restaurant or cuisine without the help of apps!Oh, the joys of getting lost will not be the same again! On the brighter side, the apps can remain and I may not use them is a huge possibility!

It just feels like ending of an era, losing touch with humans and getting sucked into a world of cold technology! Most of my friends say they have become more close thanks to various technologies of keeping in touch being available! But, what it also does is, it stops that phone call that you may have made and now you just finish it with a message! The feeling of listening to another person's voice, wishing them on their special days, but well, they might be busy, lets just wish with a message!

The "getting started" process is another hassle! After getting the number converted into post-paid the service provider will go to my mother's house to check if I ever lived there! Then, I will have to choose the plan according to my usage of phone calls/ message/ internet, etc. I am being asked to make so many decisions in this, and they still call the phone- "smart"!Huh, Irony died a thousand deaths when they invented "SMART phones"!

UPDATE AFTER SIX MONTHS

Yes, it has been almost six months since I got converted from a simple to a smart phone user! (Has nothing to do with my IQ here). Had a few issues early on. Phone got a virus and all my numbers got mixed up. Maid was now a senior Prof. So, when I called my maid to ask her, "Kaam par kyun nahi aayi?"Call actually went to a senior Prof, who I had to apologize profusely, and now I completely avoid due to embarrassment.
On the birthday of Mamu (Uncle), I sang entire "Happy Birthday" song to my Plumber! And weirdly, he did not even stop me, because he also was somebody's Mamu and thought his niece was calling! My beautician's number got swapped with my colleague! And driver's with a dentist!
After many such mishaps and embarrassments, now I check every time I call! So, if I call Deepa, wait for Deepa to confirm at least twice to confirm she is Deepa and not someone else!

I went through some horrible time in personal life and close friends' on Whatsapp kept almost 24 hour vigil and took care virtually from different parts of the world. Other side of it, some old school friends' discovered me and now send selfies, religious and friendship messages to respond to! I thought I had left them in my school! It is difficult to ignore people on phone. But,  then you can avoid the call and just send a message instead! Also, on the brighter side discovered some good friends' who share poetry and discuss other interesting issues all, on whatsapp.

Students' who would bunk classes think they can get extra class and tutions on Whatsapp! Some even ask, Ma'am we had an exam but, we saw you were online at 2am! Hello??
Apart from friends', some young cousins started treating me like their personal counselor and wanted advice after 45th break up! Uncles and cousins wanted regular updates on life on Whatsapp! You may ignore friends' but, as Barjatya Uncle has taught us, one cannot ignore family!  

My most favorite part was Twitter. I could share random thoughts and photos with strangers! My followers grew from maybe 10 odd to almost 100 thanks to my smart phone!Yayy! Although, I should be ashamed that I may ignore friends', reluctantly keep in touch with family but am very happy that some strangers know me through my tweets! Strange world we live in!!

I may listen to music on Gaana and Saavn apps, but not beyond this. I still like getting lost and asking people for way.

Only that now I depend on my phone so much that since its keyboard is not working today, I feel like a handicap! It is almost like an extension of me now. My fingers I fear with all the rubbing on screen may have become even shorter. The doctors who warn about those wrist/ thumb pains may all be true but such joys of being connected. Hey, I am a Smart phone user now!

(Based on true events!)

The Promised Hope of AAP

Aam Aadmi Party came into public domain in a big way late last year, we were all very hopeful and saw it as this big ray of hope beyond the dirty politics of BJP/Congress. I have a friend who is a social worker, fights for women's rights, child education and runs a small NGO on her own. She joined AAP and told me how it is such a different party, full of ideals and principles. She gave me the inside story about how democratic the party is run, how it is less about the money and more about creating a serious social change in society. I believed her more than the media which made Arvind Kejriwal a poster boy for change in Indian politics.It gave serious challenge to BJP / Congress even almost won them an election on their debut in Delhi. The sudden rise of AAP even gave its leader Arvind Kejriwal ideas that he could become the PM of India, even before he could properly even become the CM of Delhi. Media created AAP, and helped in its downfall from grace!

Post- Kejriwal's Rajdeep Sardesai interview, where he came across as arrogant and a man in hurry, we were a little surprised, but a couple of days back, when my activist friend called and told me how the party has changed, her  bubble had burst. She always gave me the inside story, this time she was in shock and depression at being duped and let down by 'the party'. Money was changing hands, women were being given a short shrift, and normally what happens in Indian politics was happening to AAP. We had seen how Somnath Bharti had treated women, and a party which does not respect women (irrespective of caste/ race/ religion) cannot be seen as 'party with a difference', sadly, this was also said about the BJP, but we all know how it turned out! 

 Lets hope that we will have more Aam Aadmis/ common folks, who will join politics, but will also be able to rise above it. Until then its  back to the old debate of Congress vs. BJP! Communal vs. Secular, Change vs. Old guard, etc. etc. But, just for the promise AAP offered, it became a party which gave middle class, academicians optimism about the future of Indian state and society! Maybe it will give a more serious challenge to the main two political parties in future, but right now, they seem to have lost some sheen. 

Mohallas vs. the Gated Communities.

 Most of us have grown up in  the mohallas, and now live in the modern world of gated communities. A mohalla can refer to a neighborhood, where houses share walls and people live in close proximity, with no gate or fences for privacy. The gated communities refer to the residential community living in an area bounded by walls and fences.

Mohallas  (as I saw them) were, where each household knew what the other was cooking, (just by the smell of it - shami kebab?, biryani?, aloo-paratha?), and then it made it obligatory for the other to share food. It made life more fun, as treats of awesome food, came from all sides, especially if it was some festival or a public holiday like Independence day, etc. In modern modular kitchens it is the chimney which gobbles up all the smoke/ smell of the food. It not just deprives the neighbor, but the house members also of the precious moments'of the process' of cooking. I learnt the finer points of making roti at my neighbors' house, while sitting around the tawa, gossiping in cold winter nights. Living in a mohalla is all about communal living. Everything, and not just food could be shared. From clothes, to stories about  everyone and everything. Tais, and Khalas would also help in child rearing, baby-sitting, etc.  Sometimes, all this sharing of resources also led to quarrels (on water, on children, could be anything), and onlookers enjoyed these petty fights, mostly amongst women, from their terraces, windows (for a better look) or homes.

Help is at hand for everything in a mohalla. I once had a bad accident, where I broke my leg. Before I could reach home, seeing my bloody face, my neighbors took me to the hospital, got my leg wrapped in a plaster cast, paid the doctor, while nobody from my family even knew!  

Now, everybody is working, so less people stay at home, and gated communities ensure the privacy from unknown, unwelcome elements. Of course, in a mohalla nobody had heard of a bird named 'privacy'!

In Old Delhi, often faqirs frequent for alms and charity. Everybody had their favourite faqir who would give special 'dua' if you gave him the money, and also would affectionately pat your head. Nowadays, faqirs have been replaced by lumpen drug addicts! Thus, the gates.

 In a gated community, everyone is almost middle class, nuclear families having similar social and economic status stay together (as only they can afford paying for the amenities like guards, maids, etc.). They can be quite homogenous, in terms of how they look or behave. Houses have similar designs, people look similar, mostly well dressed, share maids, share childrens' schools, but they do not share lives' as people may do in a mohalla.They live side by side, but live in sanitized environments where touching is frowned upon!

Mohallas can be homogenous or heterogenous (depending on the community like Punjabis, UP walas, etc.). People can be well-to-do, or low class, may not even have anything in common, but share lives, and stay together for the communal and social joys that it offers. Younger generation may feel living under too much scrutiny, lack of privacy and may opt out, a reason why erstwhile mohallas are breaking up, and high rise apartments coming up in their place.

  

 

The Adaabs, Tasleems and the Salaams

It is interesting to see how Muslim forms of greetings have changed over the years, especially in the Indian sub-continent. Recently, I went for a classical music concert where the Ustad/ musician greeted the audience with Adaab (along with the usual Good Evenings, namaskars, etc).

Adaab means Hello in a very formal way, and is a polite form of 'secular greeting'. It is followed by a gesture where you take your right hand towards your forehead, with back of the hand showing and the palm spooning towards your face (unlike the Army salam, which is your palm outwards touching your forehead!). Adaab literally means 'etiquette'. Even non- Muslims who are connoisseurs of Urdu language, practice 'adaab' in their formal greetings (poets like Gulzar, late Anand Bakhshi, etc.). Tasleem is also very similar to Adaab as a form of greeting. Literally it means 'to accept'. 

It is very rare to hear Adaabs/ Tasleems these days. Adaab and Tasleem are cultural greetings whereas Salam  is religious. Salam means 'peace' (Assalamalaikum/ walaikum-as-salalm, literally meaning 'May peace be upon you'). Adaabs and tasleems have been taken over by Salam now amongst the Muslims. The new generation of Muslims may not even have heard of the previous forms of greetings.
  Salam is Arabic and Adaab/ tasleem trace their origin in Urdu/ Persian tradition. The prevalence of Arabic Salam now, also points at the way Muslim identity is being constructed now, leaning more towards the larger Muslim 'Ummah'/ community. Adaabs and tasleems prevailed when the Hindu/ Muslim composite culture was at its height. Nowadays, Urdu is not the court/state language anymore. Thus the greetings which formed the bridge between the Muslims and non- Muslims, have been replaced by more casual 'Hello/ Hi', which also, points at the English languages' dominance in present times.

 The form of greetings' reflect the prevalent norms and dominance of a particular language' in the society. Prevalence of Adaabs/ tasleems reflected prominence of Urdu, and importance of the Ganga- Jamuni tehzeeb (Hindu/ Muslim mixed culture). Religious identities are more sharp and more symbolic these days (Jai Mata Di, Har Har Mahadev, Jai Ramji, etc.) and therefore, Arabic Salam which stresses more on the universal identity of being a Muslim.
(Although, salam has a better literal meaning of wishing peace upon the other!)
   

Informal employment in a formal system of education in India

Let us first try and understand, what we mean by the formal and informal sectors, which can also be substituted by organized and unorganized sectors. As, this classification of `organised' and `unorganised' sectors is used by The National Accounts Statistics (NAS) in presenting national income data.

‘In general, all enterprises which are either registered or come under the purview of any one of the acts like the Indian Factories Act 1948, Mines and Minerals (Regulation and Development) Act, 1957, the Company Law, the Central/State Sales Tax Acts, the Shops and Establishment Acts of the State governments, are defined as part of the organized sector. Also included are all government companies, departmental enterprises and public sector corporations. Similarly, forestry, irrigation works, plantations, recognized educational institutions, and hospitals which are registered as non-profit making bodies are also classified as organized sector. All unincorporated enterprises and household industries which are not regulated by any acts of the above mentioned type and which do not maintain any annual reports presenting the profit and the loss and balance sheets are classified as unorganized’ (National Accounts Statistics - NAS 1980: pp 69).

 We can see here that educational institutions are classified under the formal or organized sector. But, some elements of informal elements have existed in some degree or the other in all formal systems/ set-ups, the reason why we are discussing the issue of informal employment here is, because it is a current problem which is plaguing our national capital public universities now for a long time. 

 This is an issue which has affected me and many of my friends deeply.  Being in academics, I never imagined that jobs would be hard to come by even after a doctorate degree, or all my experience I would gain by working informally in the formal system of education.
My professors who have taught me, have found it difficult to get a promotion, either from Assistant to Associate Professor, or from Associate to Senior Professor rank.
 All the universities of Delhi- Delhi University, Jamia Millia Islamia, JawaharLal Nehru University, and even new universities like Ambedkar University, and South Asian University have instituted it and have been following this new policy.
These universities instead of recruiting permanent new faculty are hiring more and more Guest and adhoc teachers. Earlier, guest faculty jobs were given against study leave or medical leave. But, since two years or so, no new permanent jobs have been advertised, and universities are just running on guest faculties. There is no job security, no stability as after every semester recruitments are done for just three months. And after every three months/ semester, this process is repeated.  
   It is a known fact that universities are facing financial crunch, but to implement new ideas (like the 4 year Bachelor's course) with no infrastructure (especially with shortage of teachers) in place in an age old system, it does not look like a brilliant idea.

Global world- A Homogeneous World?

Globalization says wikipedia  is the process of international integration arising from the interchange of world views, products, ideas, and other aspects of culture.^[1][2] In particular, advances in transportation and telecommunications infrastructure, including the rise of the Internet, are major factors in globalization and precipitate further interdependence of economic and cultural activities.^[3] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Globalization)

It has helped in reducing differences and has made the talk if not the idea of 'one world' possible. It has helped in the growth and movement of liberal ideas like democracy, freedom and has helped in improving the standard of life better.

It is strange to observe the fact that the more globalized we become more similar we get in terms of the way our cities look today- the same big multi national brand of clothing, shoes, food chains, highways/ motorways, etc. The same chains are present everywhere selling almost the same products (with a little tweak here and there to suit local preferences).

The idea of development promoted by globalization is very west-centric and first world oriented. The third world in its efforts to play catch up has had to deal with problems and issues of displacement of its local population for land use by big corporates, pollution (air/ water/ noise/land), slums etc. The rise of urban cities in the third world has not been without these and many more problems for every developing nation. The new cities have pockets of    development- swanky malls, flyovers, housing societies with modern amenities, tall modern office buildings and complexes surrounded by slums and urban villages. A very good example of which is Gurgaon, with big beautiful modern buildings and problems of infrastructure like roads, water, electricity etc. The growing population has not helped at all. The trend of developing cities to ape western models of cities without any consideration of local conditions has created more problems than solved for the administration and the citizens of those cities.

 The big metro cities want to be like New York, Shanghai, etc. but if all cities are going to look like same, and serve similar world food, with same products, the world will surely become a boring place.

Globalization has also meant a certain minimum standard followed in terms of quality of products. A relative of mine visiting from Europe was very happy to see Mark and Spencer stores, Subway chains etc. (unlike six years back in Delhi when she visited last time) , but for shopping for clothes she still preferred Chandni Chowk for its variety and prices. 

Technological revolution fueled by globalization also means that governments of various countries have to be careful not just about their local population but also world opinion which is just a tweet away. The democratic movements in Arab world are a result of people being aware of their rights and fighting for themselves. Pictures of Japanese Tsunami united the whole world in feeling the Japanese pain in the same way, it is condemning Syrian government for its excesses against its population. 

There is still debate on whether the inequalities (between the developed and under-developed world, between rich and poor) have grown or lessened thanks to globalization. Like everything else the answer lies somewhere in between, with both good and bad sides to it. 

Marriages in India

Marriages are a personal (for the people getting married) as well as a social occasion (for all the others invited/related to the people getting married). I have been a part of both, as most of us have been, I believe. .But, it still baffles me to understand why people dance, go over the top with celebrations on other people's marriages! After all, it is a social sanction for two people to start a family for and by themselves! From Hindi Bollywood movies, to TV serials to road jams (due to people dancing on the road), bursting fire crackers, almost everything around us tells us that marriages are important and provide a huge occasion for celebration in Indian sub-continent along with Diwali, Eid etc. Markets around the marriage season are as full and jam packed as they are during Diwali/ Eid.

Let us look at the way marriages are solemnised in different religions. In Hinduism, marriages are a bond of births and re-births (even stronger than the bond with parents, as it cuts across different lifetimes), with seven pheras it becomes a relationship extending upto seven janams or births. One cannot escape one's partner even after death! My South Indian, Tamil neighbor told me marriage rituals extend up to many days amongst Tamil Brahmins. In some customs rituals go on for a night, the shortest ritual is still more than an hour long in Arya Samaji weddings. All these rituals are performed to make marriage strong, breaking the marriage off is an unthinkable sin!

 In Christianity the vows promise marriage to be the relationship of a lifetime, or till death of atleast one partner that automatically dissolves the union (until death do us part!). In both these religions until the early/ mid part of the last century divorce was very rare. Even if marriages went bad, people had no choice to opt out since there was no concept of divorce, as it was considered socially unacceptable. In the present times, divorces in society have become acceptable with the growing numbers of broken marriages. Reasons could be many or one, but the society has matured to let the people involved in the marriage to settle their lives and does not interfere (although still pokes around for gossip!)

In Islam, marriages  are a civil contract with two witnesses. The willing partners have to give their consent (qubool hai!) loud and clear along with their signatures on the contract (nikahnama), which also mentions amount of bride price to be paid. There have been instances of marriages happening on phone on conference call with bride, groom and the priest  on each line with speaker phones in Pakistan, Gulf, Hyderabad etc. Since, physical presence of the two individuals not necessary/ compulsory, long distance marriages were possible. Papers would be sent through post and consent taken verbally through phone!
Similarly, if the contract does not work out partners can opt out, again in the presence of witnesses with saying divorce loud and clear (talaq). Some people have even tried to give divorce on phone, although there have been issues with the legality of it. Both marriage and divorce have pre-conditions like, both partners should be in their senses (not drunk or angry) while performing the said acts. Although the idea  and the thought behind  Islamic marriages was revolutionary for its time. For the first time a girl was given the right to give her consent for the marriage. Her say was important and she deserved compensation in the form of bride price for the changes that it brought in her life (change of household, etc). While, divorce could be given by man by just uttering the word thrice, woman could also ask for it (khula) if marriage was not working for her and whoever opts out has to give/ give up bride price along with other financial complications (dowry/ marriage gifts etc). But, women’s position became vulnerable to husband’s mood swings, roving eye, etc.  The ease of divorce also meant its abuse, which led many Islamic countries to make stringent laws for the protection of women. In India, divorce amongst Muslims became a national debate during 1980s due to the Shah Bano case. There was an argument to implement a Uniform Civil Code to make laws equal for everyone irrespective of religion for marriage and divorce. But, Muslims claimed it was an attack on their identity and opposed it. While, BJP and Sangh Parivar saw it as a stick they could beat up Muslims with, so they keep on insisting upon it. The issue became political hot plate with nobody willing to touch it for the fear of stroking passions and leading to disturbances.

 My Sikh colleague told me about marriages in Sikhism. There was no mention of marriage rituals in Adi Granth Sahib (Holy book of the Sikhs), but one of the later Gurus wrote a poem on marriage. Since, Sikhism also had to fight for its identity, they wanted their marriage rituals to be separate from Hindus. Marriage involves 4 pheras or rounds around the Granth Sahib while priest sings the Doha or poem written by the Guru on marriage.    

 Tribal marriages have as many varied rituals as there can be varied tribes, each having its set of rituals to be performed, depending on the system whether it is matriarchal or patriarchal. In some areas of Bihar there are marriages where groom is kidnapped by the brides' family.
 Due to the problem of family infanticide the ratio of girls and boys has become so much in favor of boys there are no girls' left for men to marry in some areas of Haryana and Punjab. They are taking brides from north- east and South India, where sex ratio is not as bad. In some families, many brothers(can be two-five depending on family)  marry just one woman, leading to interesting consequences, cultures being different of each region of India.

Marriages are social events in India with celebrations often paralleling  festivals. They can also be seen as socio-cultural expressions of identities of different social groups.

Importance of being Impolite & the Role of Mobile Phones

Impolite is quite literally a soft term to actually comment on the growing lack of courtesies in todays' time. I was with a colleague recently, who actually screamed on phone in a public cafe during a meeting!(and she was not even sorry about it!) Well, she was having a bad day, but it is still seen as acceptable, when people cut you short to talk on phone or keep messaging while still talking to you. (Not to mention the accidents they cause). Phones have really taken expected behavioral norms' level to a low never seen before. (They are going further down every day).
 A friend who is a regular on Facebook, was quite irritated with another acquaintance of his for not showing Facebook manners! Apparently, the other person first accepted his 'friend' request, i.e. made him a friend then 'unfriended' him after a couple of days! Well, you cannot be expected to be nice to all 500 and more friends on Facebook, and not offend a few!

Being from the old school where it still is the usual norm to 'thank' the Rickshaw/ Auto wala for their services (after haggling with them, of course!), it is a rude shock to notice the behavior of people in public places.
 I remember writing letters, (or rather postcards) to my grandfather starting with 'Janab, mohtaram', terms of respect I gave up long back. The four letter words part of daily lingo, accepted to express sentiments ranging from disgust/ anger/ frustration/ surprise, etc. to happiness.
As Ghalib, puts it,
Har ek baat par kehte ho tum ke tu kya hai?
Tum hi kaho ke yeh andaz e guftagu kya hai?


 My cousin from London when she visited, said in Delhi people smile less to each other on the road (And if you do that, then others can easily assume you to be insane, of loose moral character and so on!)
 Giving up seat on bus for a 'buzurg' or someone more needy, is something of a right for which people have to fight. It is not losing the of the good old 'tameez', but acceptance of 'badtamizi' which is a bothersome trend. It can do things for you, you can scare people into doing things for you. Doing whatever to gets things done. Ends to means. Being impolite is becoming more of something to be proud of, and being tameezdar is shameful. It shows you cannot assert yourself, if you are too polite. More of a pushover. Easily maneuvered, can be taken lightly. So, the question you have to answer is- would you rather be full of manners and be behind  everybody and everything, or would you rather be badtameez and get your work done. Some people have made their choice and that is why we know the numbers are growing in which category.